Monday, May 9, 2011

Learning About Love

Before I met the love of my life, I wrote a list. A four page list to be exact, and I got everything I could have ever asked for in a man. For once, I could actually say, the cheesy love songs I spent years listening to were relatable. From "Whatta Man" to "A Dream is a Wish your Heart Makes" my feelings for him embodied every range of emotion ever sung about. Unfortunately, it includes songs like "If I Were A Boy". Not that he ever means to make me feel that way. But what I've learned is, when you actually love someone, you are no longer the person you once were.

I used to want to be a cyborg. Cold and unhurtable. Coming from a culture where stories are filled with jilted women who came to rely on unreliable partners. But I met the man who changed everything, and the smallest thing he does usually unintentionally or an unthoughtful sentence uttered by someone who gives you cause to wonder about faithfulness can send you into a vortex of irrational thought.

But if you don't experience the torment of these emotions, is the love as strong? There was a yahoo article written about the stages of love. The final stage was trust. Of course, you want to trust the person you love, I've never been given a reason by him not to. But when you are in love, sometimes you think, he/she is so amazing and great, why wouldn't someone else try to take him away?

Is it unrealistic to hope and expect that when someone really really truly loves you, no one else compares or enters their thoughts? That when they see someone else attractive to people who are not already in love with someone, that they just appear in the form of something that is just normal or nonthreatening to the relationship?

They say love is blind. I'd like to think that love is blinding. Blinding the eyes of the person who is in love to the advances of anyone else other than the one person they are meant to be with. I hope and pray that this is how the universe actually functions. Because love means everything to me.

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